Something's wrong with the whole picture...

I think I got pretty much figure out what's going on with me lately. I'm changing. And through this change, there are things I'm not satisfied. A.K.A my room.

I hate it. I RESENT IT. It reminded me everything of the old times that it used to be. How it was meant to be filled up by TWO PEOPLE. How homey it was to harbor another. It was something both her and me worked so hard together to make it. And I wanted to move on from the past. And what I thought will be my comfort zone became my delusional sanctuary of painful memories.

I was in another room today and I felt like myself again as if every inch of energy came back. Now this sounds crazy but a room that reminds you of the past can get on your nerves sometimes.

Plus, at the moment I need standards. I've been pushed around too much because I've never set standards for myself. Between friendship when is it on and off, to a new budding friend and to myself. And I can't be forever a mama's girl or daddy's girl. I want do things for myself and there are times I really had to stomp my foot down to show something. I don't want to be pathetic.

So here's my plan.

Going OUT
1. I'll leave the PVC floor VACANT as much as possible and no one's going to stop me.
2. The computer's going to occupy the least space possible.
3. Books OUT or boxed neatly aside to remind me of my academy pride.
4. CARPET OUT.
5. Sewing machine shall remain but in a convinient place.
6. 4 cupboards OUT.

Going IN
1. New books; ranging from Romance to Psychology
2. Magazines
3. Clothes and rebunk of my fashion taste

And standards between drawing the LINE and not DRAWING THE LINE.
Rule #1: When they give you the signal it's off, IT'S OFF. Don't think about WHY anymore, just give them the sign, you're OUT MY LIFE.
Rule #2: Dress UP, people still go for the neat and beautiful, and you'll going to earn it through your money.
Rule #3: You're not DADDY OR MOMMY'S GIRL anymore. You abide their rules long enough, it's time to have your own rules too.
Rule #4: Don't worry, you're soul searching; and I believe this is the chance God's giving you.